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You will notice in this passage some negative
words…
v. 13 sorrow
15afflicted
16trouble
17hatred
18strife
22disappointed
These are all synonyms for stress and
tension. They represent those times when the string gets too tight…and then
it snaps!
Ill—guitar string can snap if too
tight/balloon seems fine, it can take a little more, then boom!/volcano:
beneath surface…fire! Pressure cooker boils over!
These are stressful times in which we live.
And almost everyday you hear about another home where the string has
snapped.
For example: did you know that an
act of domestic violence is committed every 15 seconds in America? Scary,
isn’t it? In 1/4th of all marriages, violence occurs at least
occasionally. 20% of all murders take place w/in the family! Of those, 13%
are committed against a spouse!
We used to say it’s a jungle out there. Now
we’d have to say, it’s a jungle in here!
Stress in a home is like sand to machinery,
and a marriage which should be smooth and efficient, instead begins to
slowly grind away!
So, how do we reduce stress and tension in
the home?
1.Learn to Laugh
15:13, 15
17:22 What is a broken spirit?
Well, the spirit of a man is the wellspring of life, and when the spirit is
broken, it means you’ve lost your zest, your enthusiasm, and you’re tempted
to give up.
Laughter is a gift God has given to us, to
release tension, and to keep our spirits from being broken in this
sin-cursed earth. Acc’d to this verse, it’s one of God’s ways of keeping us
healthy, emotionally and physically.
Medical science has proven that when
you laugh, chemicals and enzymes are released in the brain which are
extremely imp’t to the health of our vital organs.
Listen to part of an article from a secular
magazine called Executive Digest: “Scientists have been studying the
effects of laughter on human beings and have found, among other things, that
laughter has a profound and instantaneous effect on virtually every imp’t
organ of the human body. Laughter reduces unhealthy tensions, and relaxes
the tissues, as well as exercising the most vital organs. Laughter, even
when forced, results in beneficial effect on us, both mentally and
physically. So, the next time you feel nervous and jittery, indulge in a
good laugh.”
I don’t think I could ever possibly deal w/
the stresses and pressures of the ministry, if home were not a fun place to
be. Kimberly will vouch for the fact that most of the time our home just
rings w/ laughter…once in a while there are other sounds! But there’s just
something wonderful in the air there…
This girl [my wife] gets giddy every night at
9! You say, I thought she was giddy at church! No, at church, she’s a
“Goth” compared to home!
And the kids pick up on our spirits and join
right in…they don’t even know what they’re doing sometimes, but they love
the spirit! And our home is a place of laughter, a place of “playing”,
games, chasing, walks, piles of leaves, etc.!
3 things you ought to give
your children:
·Life
·Love
·Laughter
3 rules you ought to have
for your home:
·Be fair
·Be firm
·Be fun
Learn to laugh…don’t take things so
seriously…lighten up!
2.Cultivate Contentment
15:16, 17
vegetable plate/filet mignon
It’s not about things…the American dream says
it is, but the Bible says no…focus on happiness.
ill.—mansion w/ white columns out front, dad
pulls up in BMW, kicks cat out of the way. No one comes out to meet him,
they’re all in their rooms watching their private TV’s, playing on their
X-Box or Nintendo/time to eat…long formal dining room, china, crystal,
cloth/servants bring out ors d oeuvre’s, appetizers, soup du jour, salad,
smoking roast./Dad eats as fast as he can, preoccupied, thinking about
work/Mom has a face like a hatchet, she just knows he’s messin’ around w/
that secretary/surly, rebellious teenagers say nothing unless it’s sarcastic
and cutting…or…
...—dad pulls up to little frame house in old
car/kids run to meet him/enters: smells aroma of fried chicken, ocre,
etc./no tablecloth, just placemats, no china, just mismatched dishes…some
chipped, stainless steel silverware, paper napkins/dad reaches out and they
all hold hands, he thanks God for their love and the food/amen…and dig
in!/not in a dining room, just kitchen, but it rings w/ laughter/they tell
about their day: hit homerun, dog chewed hair off my dolly.
Which of these homes would you like to have?
Not saying it’s impossible to have
both, although it’s not common to have both.
If you want to have a happy home, you have to
cultivate contentment. Live w/in your means. Financial stress will kill
the spirit of a home…you don’t need that.
“Better is a dinner of herbs…”
Don’t even get on the treadmill of
materialism, it doesn’t take you anywhere! (if only we had a bigger, nicer
house, newer car…no, if you’re not happy w/ what you’ve got now, you
wouldn’t be then, it has nothing to do w/ it.)
Phil. 4:11
Not that I speak in respect of want: for I
have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
I Tim. 6:8
And having food and raiment let us be
therewith content.
Heb. 13:5
Let your conversation be without
covetousness; and be content with
such things as ye have.
We are blessed w/ a nice house, and some nice
things…modest, but nice…but you know, we’re no happier than we were in that
2 room apartment, driving that little Cavalier with 180,000 miles on it!
Now each of our cars are upgraded [only 140k miles on each!] We’re thankful
for what we now have, but we know it doesn’t bring happiness w/ it…it’s all
wood, hay, and stubble!
In Luke 12:15, Jesus said:
Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life
consisteth not in theabundanceofthethings which he possesseth.
I Tim. 6
6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we
brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.
8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. 9 But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare,
and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and
perdition.
Cultivate contentment!
I know many people today have to work 2 jobs,
and many hours, just to make ends meet…that’s ok, I’m not talking about
making a living, and providing the basics…I’m talking about the tyranny of
things, that prompts some people to go out seeking more money to buy more
things, or to pay off what they already bought on credit, when they should
be out in the yard teaching that boy to throw a baseball, or reading that
book to that girl.
But many have to keep up w/ the Joneses’…we
buy things we don’t need, w/ money we don’t have, to impress people that we
don’t like!
So, learn to laugh, cultivate contentment…
3.Alleviate Anger
15:18
14:17
18:13 put mouth in gear before brain
29:20
The clear lesson here: the way to control
anger is to control your mouth…your tongue!
Joke—I always get the last word…yes dear!
Last argument: I had her on her
hands and knees…come out from under that bed and fight like a man!
Nothing will reduce stress and
tension in the home like getting control of your words.
When you are mad, angry, upset (and
those times will come) keep your mouth shut! “Be angry, and sin not!”
What we think: “maybe I will make my point
better if I say it a little louder” (then they get louder) “or if I add some
sarcasm or a cutting insult…then they’ll get the point!”
You say, but in the heat of that moment, I
can’t control my mouth…oh yes you can!
Don’t take the bait! “I’m not biting” It
ends there!
So, learn to laugh/cultivate
contentment/alleviate anger…
4.Walk in Wisdom
15:21, 22, 33
The Bible says that God is not the author of
confusion…if your home is characterized by confusion, understand that God is
not in that! Strife and tension result when there’s confusion, when we’re
not on the same page, when the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is
doing…the result isn’t unity and harmony, it’s division, strife, tension,
and stress!
Problems WILL arise on a daily basis, that’s
normal, but wisdom begs us to start attacking the problem, together, in
unity, and stop attacking each other.
Listen to Mt. 7
24 Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I
will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: 25
And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat
upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. 26
And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall
be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: 27
And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat
upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.
You can build your home on 1 of 2
foundations: rock or sand
The difference is whether or not you
put Christ first in your life/marriage…that building on The Rock…and when
the winds of adversity blow, and the waves of disappointment roll in, your
house will be able to weather the storm.
That’s walking in wisdom!
And then you can build something beautiful
together! On the foundation of Christ, if your salvation is anything more
than just fire insurance to you, or a tradition, or a duty, if there’s any
depth to your salvation at all, then on top of that rock foundation, you
will build walls of worship, w/ studs of Sunday school and siding of Sunday
night, windows of wed. night attendance. Paint the interior w/ peace, and
carpet w/ contentment. Build a kitchen of kindness, and stock the shelves
well in the pantry of purity…then hang a chandelier of charity. A hallway
of holiness will often lead you back to a bedroom of bliss! And make sure
and have that special room where the whole family can bathe in the lather of
laughter. That fireplace of forgiveness will warm the atmosphere, and leads
right up to the roof of repentance which will keep your whole family
sheltered from the storms of sin. The blessings are right in your own
backyard if you want them! And if you’ll build your house on the rock!
learn to laugh/cultivate
contentment/alleviate anger/walk in wisdom
