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Love:
Passion or Promise?
Hosea
3 In our nation, a divorce is
granted every 26 seconds. Slightly more than half of all marriages, and
nearly 60% of all remarriages end in divorce. Divorces are granted for all
kinds of reasons, but the most common rationalization for why marriages end
is, “We just don’t love each other as we once did.” As a society, we have
come to believe that when the romantic feelings of love have cooled, the
relationship is no longer valid. Author
Thornton Wilder gives us a
different perspective. He writes: “I married you because you
gave me a promise. That promise made up for your faults. And the promise I
gave you made up for mine. Two imperfect people got married, and it was the
promise that made the marriage. And when our children were growing up, it
wasn’t a house that protected them; and it wasn’t our love that protected
them – it was that promise.” (Quoted in Grow Up! How Taking
Responsibility Can Make You a Happy Adult, published by Golden Books.) Wilder understood that
relationships are built upon a promise, not a passion. Should the
passion die, relationships can continue because of the promise.
In other words:
it’s not your love that sustains your commitment, it’s
your commitment
that sustains your
love. That is what Hosea is all
about. It is a spiritual Valentine Card from our God to us today!
When we pick up the story in chapter three, Gomer has hit bottom. She
has bigger problems than just a goofy name [goooolleee!]
She has been transported from the “hip” world of adultery into the
living hell of prostitution. She is swapped on the open market of the sex
trade like a piece of common stock. Hosea has every legal and moral right to
divorce her, and, under God’s law, to have her killed. But Hosea is not
about law. In love, Hosea does the unthinkable. Following God’s
instructions, he goes to the slave market, purchases this woman with whom he
exchanged wedding vows, takes her home, and says to her, “I will be for
thee.” (Verse 3) I am certain that Hosea
didn’t “feel” much affection for Gomer at that moment. How could he? She had
wrecked his home and publicly shamed and humiliated him. Yet, in obedience
to the Lord he was able to “love” her “yet.” (Verse 1) What we learn from this is
that love is not about passion, but about a promise. It is not something we
feel, but something we do no matter how we feel. It is a
commitment that must endure the inconsistency of human emotions. It must
withstand insensitivity, neglect, and betrayal. It must weather changes in
personality, behavior, and physical attraction. That kind of love can last a
lifetime.
I.
Love is a
Promise that Endures – Verse 1
A.
The timing
of God’s command to Hosea The word “Then”
reminds us that this took place after Hosea had taken the following
steps (see 2:1-13) He had confronted Gomer
with her infidelity He had issued an ultimatum
– give up her affairs or get out He had backed up the
ultimatum by letting her go and cutting off his financial and emotional
support. (See 2:8-12) It is important to remember
that Hosea didn’t take these steps in anger, or as an act of reprisal. It
was his loving, confident response to a serious problem in his relationship.
Hosea didn’t try to hang on to Gomer by overlooking her affairs,
manipulating her with guilt, or making empty threats. He simply said to her,
“If you want to stay, I want you to stay – but with the understanding that
you take whatever steps are necessary to end these affairs. If you want to
go, you may go, but things cannot continue as they are. I want you to know
that I’m not giving up on you, but I am willing to give you up if that is
what you want.” The verses that follow
clearly indicate that
Hosea didn’t take the steps of restoration until Gomer had reached the point
of brokenness. She had to hit bottom in order to look up. It is probable that many
months, and possibly years, passed between Hosea chapters 2 and 3. Like the boy in the
parable of the prodigal son, Gomer had to reach the end of the road before
she would see the value in returning home.
B.
The terms
of God’s command to Hosea Although I believe that
Gomer was inwardly broken, outwardly her condition was the same. “yet an
adulteress” [v. 1] I think it safe to
conclude that Gomer no longer enjoyed her present condition – a common
prostitute sold to anyone willing to pay the price of a slave. But neither had she
attempted to return to Hosea. I think there are at least two possible
reasons for this:
·
She couldn’t. She had already sunk
so low that she was no longer free to make such choices. She was a slave,
the property of the one who owned her.
·
She didn’t know that she could return.
So much time had passed and she had sinned so greatly that she couldn’t
imagine Hosea taking her back. Hosea, after the manner of
God, was to show Gomer that a relationship was still possible, not on the
terms of her character, but on the terms of his commitment. “according to
the love of the Lord” [v. 1] To understand this kind of
love, we must look to its source –
God. He
didn’t wait until we
cleaned up to offer us salvation. “While we were yet sinners,”
God demonstrated His love for us through God is the one who teaches
us that love is a promise, not a passion. Marriage is not about “being in
love,” but agreeing to love. It is not merely something we feel, but
something we do no matter how we feel. This is what we have to remember
when, like Hosea, the one we love has hurt us. If we wait for a “feeling,”
we may never get around to showing love.
Endures…
II.
Love is a Promise that
Procures [purchases] – Verse 2
A.
It involves
sacrifice God’s Word is too important
for Him to be wasteful with words. I believe that everything God has to say
is important. It is up to us to discover its importance. God has recorded
the exact cost Hosea paid to buy back his own wife – fifteen shekels of
silver, and one and one-half homers of barley. I believe there is a reason
for these precise figures. In the Old Testament, the
established price of a slave was 30 shekels of silver. See Exodus 21:32. One homer was equal to 10
ephahs. One and a half homers would be 15 ephahs. The normal price for
barley was 1 shekel per ephah. Thus, Hosea paid a total
of 30 shekels in cash and barley. Since Hosea could not pay
the total amount in cash, it indicates that paying Gomer’s redemption price
involved a great personal sacrifice. Visualize Hosea getting
ready to go redeem his wife from the slave market. He checks his wallet and
looks in his checkbook. He digs in the cushions of the couch, and all he can
come up with is 15 shekels of silver, only HALF of what he needs. Imagine
getting ready to pay your house payment, and only being able to scrape
together half of it! So, Hosea begins to go through his things, looking for
something of value to make up the difference. Finally, he reaches the
conclusion that it’s the barley or nothing. I believe that
Hosea’s payment was
equivalent to the widow’s mite – it was all he had. It represented
a TOTAL sacrifice,
the very best he had to offer.
B.
It imparts
significance ill.--Little House on the
Prairie, where Mary is sick and Charles returns home to sell the farm to pay
for her operation. Imagine what Hosea’s
sacrifice communicated to Gomer. She was brought home to an empty bank
account and an empty pantry – together a symbol of her worth to
Hosea. It told Gomer that she was worth more than anything he possessed, and
everything he possessed. It told her that his love was not based upon her
character, charm, or charisma, but upon his commitment. And it told her that
she could expect more of the same in the days to come. Romans 8:32 asks, “He
that spared not his own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He
not with Him also freely give us all things?” We don’t have to earn
God’s love, or earn His blessings. We
are loved.
III.
Love is a Promise that
Secures – Verses 3 Here, Hosea renews his
wedding vow. He says to Gomer, “You’re coming home, and you will live with
me for many days. Everything you need, you will find in me. You won’t have
to go outside this relationship to find love, acceptance, worth, or anything
else. I will be for thee.” Hosea’s solution to Gomer’s
shameful past was to give her a brand new, secure start in their marriage.
He was telling her that the past didn’t matter. They were going to begin
working on their future, and there was only one rule – she had to let Hosea
love her exclusively. She had to depend upon him for ALL her love
needs. He ALONE was to be the source of her security in their relationship. That is God’s desire for
all His people. He wants us to be dependent upon Him for every kind of need
we have.
·
He tells us
that we are accepted in the beloved.
·
He tells us
that we are new creatures in Christ Jesus, having received a brand
new start in life.
·
He tells us
that we don’t have to go outside of our relationship to Him to meet any need
we have. We are to cast our cares upon Him because He cares for us.
·
We are to
walk in newness of life, not the shame of our past.
·
He alone is to
be the source of security in our relationship to Him. We are not hanging on
to Him, but He is hanging on to us.
·
He says, I
will be for thee…now, will you be faithful to ME? Conclusion Although we are not told
how the story ends, I imagine that Gomer cautiously, hopefully, took it all
in. After all, she had given life her best shot, and it had led to shame and
disappointment. She had tried to find fulfillment from everyone but Hosea,
and had come home empty. And now, love was being lavished on her and pledged
to her anew. Personally, I think Hosea’s love broke Gomer’s heart and won
her loyalty for the rest of their days. I believe that because Hosea stood
by his promise of love, he and Gomer eventually shared the passion of love.
It didn’t happen overnight. It took time for Gomer to learn that Hosea’s
pledge was genuine. Trust had to be built. Hurts had to be healed. But I can
picture Hosea and Gomer walking hand in hand, laughing and enjoying each
other’s company. It becomes evident to everyone that Hosea is not just
performing a duty. He and Gomer are truly and completely “in love.” Do you
understand how it empowered his message when he would use himself and Gomer
as an example and say, “There, that’s how much God loves you!” In light of verses 4-5, I
don’t think this picture is too far off. God says to his people that for
many days they would live without the outward symbols of their relationship
to Him. They would be driven out of the land, deprived of their king, their
temple, and their access to God. Essentially, it would look like the
relationship was over, beyond recovery. But what Hosea did for Gomer, God
was going to do for
For I would not, brethren, that ye should be
ignorant of this mystery, lest ye should be wise in your own conceits; that
blindness in part is happened to Israel, until the fulness of the Gentiles
be come in. And so all Israel shall be saved: as it is written, There
shall come out of Sion the Deliverer, and shall turn away ungodliness from
Jacob: For this is my covenant unto them, when I shall take away their sins.
Romans 11:25-27
And we can be restored to
the Lord. We can become the
virgin, spotless bride of
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